Mind

candlelight morning-wood

Sat, 04 May 2013 01:11:00 +0200

In the turbid, orange light of the fireplace,
We laid down to fall in a fluffy dream.
Lambent feelings were dancing full of grace,
Love, we had to redeem.

No joy, no peace, was found in the ash.
As lifeless as an empty glassy jar,
We were as close as we were far.
Your stupidness killed us in a hot flash.

Dullness, pure Dullness.
Oh Dullness, you pulled.
Just a kick in the head.
Ignorance may fill the glass.

______________________________
written by myself, today. at this moment. My thoughts were at myself, last night, laying in front in the fireplace, sleeping, alone. My thoughts also have been, by all the people , who cuddled me in my imagination, here, in front of the fireplace…who cuddled me, if they would have wanted to.

Sorrow

Sat, 04 May 2013 00:35:50 +0200

I definitely hate to get in contact with someone, to find the person attractive and talk to each other an then just..being cut off. From one day to the other, the other person stops talking to you. And you doesn’t even know each other really.

that’s one gear of sorrow.
sorrow

Some phrases I wrote into my mobile through insomniac nights:“It is damn toxic to hear and see...

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 00:24:11 +0200

Some phrases I wrote into my mobile through insomniac nights:

“It is damn toxic to hear and see love everywhere around you, but to have no inside you.”

“…and my poor soul has been diverged by humans.”

”..all the sleep that I never was never sleeping is deep inside me.”

“Our nature depends on our thoughts and our thoughts are manipulating us”

1. For me it’s funny how I just use tumblr for posting lyric, emotional crap.
2. It’s way too much like a diary. Gonna work on it and gather my thoughts.

the one that I have with one part of my best friends; they don’t know anything of my...

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 23:56:49 +0200

the one that I have with one part of my best friends; they don’t know anything of my depressed,distorted, genial inner.

they often cut this themes, but it doesn’t go any further.

“Sorrow, you are my light Everything my heart desires Show me your beautiful anger Sorrow,...

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 20:04:13 +0200

“Sorrow, you are my light
Everything my heart desires
Show me your beautiful anger
Sorrow, keeping me sane
You turn my nights into days
I love your beautiful anger”

-IAMX

I hate how this grows to a dairy more and more. I bought a DVD and a CD. My mum said “you...

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 00:49:38 +0100

I hate how this grows to a dairy more and more.

I bought a DVD and a CD. My mum said “you could get them for your 18th birthday”
Yes mum, because my sister got a car like my brother did. My friends also got a car and some other stuff or a fly or… .

I don’t want a lot of small things which doesn’t even cost the half of the value of a car.
My step-mum would say I just think too commercially.
But how would you feel if you’d get just the shit? YEES of course, step-mum, it has EMOTIONAL VALUE. maybe.pah.

The emotional value of something what is less worth than that what other got is: “…

Concerning my birthday:
I invited some people.
5 Of them are really important for me. The others are all just… against the “I have no friends” feeling. And I know that I am not important for them. But maybe one or two people of the invited people will make me a huge present which will make me happy.
And no, step-mom, with ‘huge’ I mean the emotional value. Something what helps me. Something what shows me to be welcome.

I know about the volatileness of the feelings, but I still have a crush on the guy, that I talked so...

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 00:15:35 +0100

I know about the volatileness of the feelings, but I still have a crush on the guy, that I talked so many times about. the guy that I see in his purple boxers, the guy I drank tee in the morning with in the sun and and and.

first of all: we lost contact. second: he will fly to canada for a year ,soon.

at this moment I am so extremely depressed, I want to be with him. in summer. at the Côte d’Azur. drinking some wine with him and take a look in this beautiful face. and then danc with him to, yes, lambada. ‘cause atm this song feels like passion for me.

The best feeling on earth, that you can feel, is not an earthly type.

Sun, 24 Mar 2013 22:36:16 +0100

The best feeling on earth, that you can feel, is not an earthly type.

I have a chat with a guy at this moment. he had a relationship about 4 years.Now he’s f*cking...

Thu, 21 Mar 2013 00:55:57 +0100

I have a chat with a guy at this moment. he had a relationship about 4 years.
Now he’s f*cking around. More than 20 guys, he thinks.

And I?
19. Don’t want more. Want more.
Want one. THE one. the 4 year one.

I took xtc.It was the best feeling I’ve ever had.Cuddeling with a straight boy. It was very...

Thu, 21 Mar 2013 00:54:38 +0100

I took xtc.
It was the best feeling I’ve ever had.
Cuddeling with a straight boy. It was very warm.
So wonderful.

‘n that’s why I’ll never take again.
-> mabye one time. but rly only one.

I hate that hipster guys who r running around with their OBEY caps. but they need it. I hate that...

Fri, 15 Mar 2013 11:18:42 +0100

I hate that hipster guys who r running around with their OBEY caps. but they need it.
I hate that guys who need something.

I don’t have any addictions. like they, maybe. addiciton of labels.
but being free often means being alone. and being alone means sadness.

haha. in just e same moment a girl ran against my table at school. wearing a cap , written ‘cool’ on it. oh damn.

I know somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody who...

Fri, 15 Mar 2013 10:55:32 +0100

I know somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody who knows somebo…

that’s nearly everything we need, because everybody has everybody and so everything.

this happiness hormones, lying here on the couch in the living room, with two of my best friends....

Sat, 09 Mar 2013 18:36:07 +0100

this happiness hormones, lying here on the couch in the living room, with two of my best friends. the party will start soon, I hope. we are nearly drunken and just wating for the people to come. music same as every time, just wonderful moments I’d like to have every day.

but this ends, one of the two will move. last houseparty in her home. will miss it!

Sometimes the long ways seem to be shorter then the short ways, because you experience more.

Fri, 08 Mar 2013 00:03:42 +0100

Sometimes the long ways seem to be shorter then the short ways, because you experience more.

As we all should know: conversation and truthness should be the most important thing in a...

Mon, 18 Feb 2013 02:15:14 +0100

As we all should know: conversation and truthness should be the most important thing in a relationship. nevermind between who.

When I made my driverslicense and my teacher sat next to me and her child just behind me… I...

Mon, 18 Feb 2013 02:12:35 +0100

When I made my driverslicense and my teacher sat next to me and her child just behind me… I often thought (When I drove with a very high speed) .. What would be her last reaction, and the reaction of the public afterwards… If I just drive this car straight into a wall?! I drive fast enought that we could die so fckn easily.

there is just too much in my brain to hold everything for the future. I like to observe...

Mon, 18 Feb 2013 02:07:20 +0100

there is just too much in my brain to hold everything for the future.
I like to observe people… I often think about their acting,their thoghts, their emotions… where does this all come from, for this simple act? what moved them?

The humanity should invent something which is able to save the thoughts,memories and emotions of every person. ‘Cause connections..like associations.. and conversations… are that, what invent new stuff.

“you guys are friends, what are you talking about?!” I hate it when my mom gets...

Sat, 16 Feb 2013 12:44:12 +0100

“you guys are friends, what are you talking about?!”
I hate it when my mom gets personal.

it would be wonderful, if my inner tiredness would become the tiredness of my body.

Tue, 12 Feb 2013 00:03:21 +0100

it would be wonderful, if my inner tiredness would become the tiredness of my body.

thank you for giving me wounds , mar_.and thank you for cutting them off again, every 2 months.

Thu, 07 Feb 2013 19:21:28 +0100

thank you for giving me wounds , mar_.
and thank you for cutting them off again, every 2 months.